WARNING - Some people may find the following text and photographs disturbing.
Why fork out hard-earned money to attend our week-long creative writing retreat in the Pyrénées-Orientales region of south-west France in mid-March when there’s absolutely nothing much to see or do there? Nothing much to cheer about.
If you enjoy a holiday with delicious food, fine wine and exotic cocktails, dramatic scenery, legendary heritage and traditional music, dance and song, this may NOT be the place.
Here's why…
The weather in southwest France in March is always gloomy. Never any chance to sit out and soak up the sun.
As such, the sunsets are mediocre at best.
And the views, mediocre at best.
Why would you want to see this? Utterly underwhelming.
And it’s not just the weather. Nature and the general landscape is rather uninspiring too in the Pyrénées-Orientales region. Lacklustre we’d say. In fact, pretty boring. Looking at the photos below, wouldn’t you agree?
Medieval towns in this Catalonian region: what boring places to wander seeking creativity and peace of mind.
You should also know there’s no arts, heritage or culture worth a darn in the region.
As for other activities, forget it. Fun evenings, you’re joking, right? It’s desolate. Think tumbleweeds blowing in the wind along deserted streets.
There’s also very few nearby towns to escape to.
As for eating, sure you might starve before the week is over. Decent food is as scarce as hen’s teeth.
Lunching out at three different charming restaurants during the week? That’d be exhausting, don’t you think? Especially when you have to choose from so much. Like French onion soup, salmon mousse, coq au vin, escargot, beef Wellington, vegetable ratatouille, white beans baked with meats called cassoulet, assorted salads and quiches, not to mention traditional galettes with all kinds of fillings.
And don’t get me started on desserts. Sure they don’t even call them that. Their fancy word for it is pâtisserie. And so what if it’s the best in the world? Who’d want to eat macarons or crème brûlée or profiteroles with ice-cream and custard or even mille feuille, meaning ‘a thousand leaves,’ layers of puffed pastry filled with fruits and whipped cream? Or even freshly-baked, sweet-smelling pain au chocolat or croissant for that matter?
As for drinks, there’s so little to choose from you could die of thirst before the first day is over. What does it matter some of the best French wine is from the Pyrénées-Orientales region including the sweet version made from muscat grapes? Or that the artisan cider, both sweet and dry, is organic and made by local farmers? Would you be interested in drinking apéritifs such as pastis or kir, a blackcurrant liquer topped with white wine or even the local favorite, Byrrh, first made 100 year ago, a kind of vermouth made with spices you can also mix with gin, vodka and tequila?
And last but not least, the accommodation we've lined up for participants… It just isn’t up to much. In fact, we’re kinda ashamed to show it to you. Having your own, en-suite room in a chateau is what you do every weekend, right? Why bother flying all the way to Catalonia, with clear views over Canigou, the Catalan sacred mountain?
So, please, don’t say the hardworking team here at Ireland Writing Retreat of award-winning international creative writing retreats hasn’t warned you about attending our upcoming mid-March week-long event in France.
We simply don’t want you to be disappointed. Life’s too short for that.
But if you feel like torturing yourself, you're most welcome to apply for a place on the South of France Writing Retreat. As our retreats are bespoke, we take a maximum of 10 people and there's only a couple of places left.
But you wouldn’t want to go through all that anyway, would you? I mean, do these ladies look sad, or what?
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